People go to therapy for all kinds of reasons, and there is no wrong reason to seek therapy. If you feel disconnected from yourself and others or that life is becoming dull, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and your emotions. Sometimes, there’s no big traumatic event or experience that causes you to feel numb. The weight of what we think are little things in our daily lives can get heavy and build up over time, making you feel as if you’re not truly living but just going through the motions of life. The thing is, it doesn’t have to be this way. You deserve to live a fulfilling life, and you don’t need to wait until things fall apart or reach a crisis to get the help you deserve. Working with a therapist can give you tools and strategies to develop healthy coping mechanisms and foster self-awareness to help you feel like yourself again.
Feeling disconnected from yourself can be a strange and uncomfortable experience. Perhaps you’re doing all the things you normally do: going to work or school, handling daily responsibilities, engaging in small talk, and yet you feel something is off. You might feel like you are present but not really engaging with what you are doing. This can be confusing and exhausting. It’s a feeling that can be hard to put into words, but the feeling and impact it has are nonetheless very real. This feeling of disconnect is known as languishing. Psychologist Corey Keyes first introduced the concept of languishing in 2002 to capture a more complex understanding of mental health. Languishing refers to a state of emotional stagnation or emptiness where you may not feel depressed, but you are not feeling happy or fulfilled either.
Why do I feel this way?
If you find yourself asking this question, you’re not alone. Many people are unsure where their feelings come from or what they are supposed to mean. It can be frustrating not understanding the why behind your feelings, but it’s important to know that there’s nothing wrong with you for the way you feel. While the experience of feeling disconnected from yourself is different for everyone, there are some common reasons why you may feel this way. Keep in mind, though, that there can be other reasons that contribute to feelings of detachment not listed here.
1. You are burned out
Burnout doesn’t just affect your job or academic performance. It can also change how you perceive yourself. When you’re constantly pushing through stress, deadlines, or high expectations, it takes a toll on your body. Over time, you might feel overwhelmed and exhausted. That feeling of numbness can occur because your energy is spent and you are emotionally depleted. Research shows that emotional numbness can stem from being burned out and cause you to feel detached from your feelings.
2. You are going through a change
Change, even good change, can be emotionally exhausting. Starting a new job, finishing school, ending a relationship, moving abroad or starting a new chapter in your life can all be significant changes that impact how you feel about yourself. This is because change disrupts established routines and pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be a lot of work to adapt to a new routine and this can contribute to feelings of stress and fatigue, even if the change is a positive one.
3. You are experiencing a mental health condition
It can be hard sometimes to tell the difference between languishing and a mental health condition. Mental health conditions like depression and anxiety don’t always look as we expect, and both conditions can make it feel harder to connect with yourself or others. A therapist can help you examine any underlying mental health conditions that may be contributing to your feelings of being disconnected from yourself.
How will therapy help me feel like myself again?
Therapy isn’t a quick fix, but with time and persistence, it can help you rediscover yourself and your values. Here are some ways therapy can help you feel like yourself again:
1. Understand the root causes
Whether it’s burnout, a big change, an underlying mental health condition, or something else, a therapist can help you explore and understand what’s causing your emotional numbness. When we know what’s causing our languishing, we can begin the work on healing. Therapy can help you connect the dots behind emotional avoidance in a safe, compassionate, and non-judgmental way.
2. Develop emotional awareness
Emotional avoidance can be a coping strategy that we may develop without even realizing it. This can cause feelings of numbness and dampen our mood. A good therapist will help you learn how to recognize, understand, and process your emotions rather than suppressing or ignoring them at a pace that works for you.
3. Reconnect with your values
Languishing sometimes stems from a loss of alignment with your values. Therapy can help you explore what really matters to you and empower you to start making choices that reflect what you truly care about. We gain a clearer sense of direction and purpose when we reconnect with our values and the things that matter to us.
4. Build healthy coping strategies
When life becomes overwhelming, we all have coping strategies that we use to cope with the stress. However, some of the coping strategies we use can be harmful. Therapy equips you with tools to manage stress and regulate your emotions in a healthy way. This creates a strong foundation for how to cope with challenges later in life.
You deserve to feel like you again. Maybe you miss being able to feel deeply or be excited about things that used to bring you joy. Maybe you’re tired of life feeling dull and colourless. Therapy can be the bridge back to yourself. If you feel like you’re just going through the motions of life, you don’t have to stay there. Healing is possible, and it is never too late to start therapy.
If you are looking for support or unsure if therapy is right for you, reach out today for a free 20-minute consultation and explore how Humanicity Psychotherapy can help you feel like yourself again.